loving you ain’t easy

Aditi poudel
3 min readFeb 9, 2021

I always wondered what the term love would mean? How could two completely different people feel they are in love, and if I carry on with the question, I could make a hundred new questions regarding love. For me, it’s was a mystery to unfold. Or even wondered how come the term love was made with no valid reasons, I guess. The term “LOVE” was just “LOVE,” which had no basic meaning for me.

Now I have all the answers, all those answers I was expecting to know while all those thoughts I collected during those pondering moments actually could be felt. I never thought I would ever feel this: the feeling to be loved: the feeling to love somebody: the feeling of admiration, or even say the feeling of liveliness.

One day I called him on the phone, and all I ever felt was the peace that my mind ever required, and as we went on, I felt more and more drawn into those eyes as if those eyes were showing me the path: the path to somewhere which was making me feel more safe and secured. I tried taking off my eyes and not look at them to see the difference, but I failed; I got more drawn into them without any consent. As we went on and on, I looked at those murmuring lips, which moved in a way I couldn’t resist. Like something was enlightening me with a powerful charm. That charismatic charm, that voice that sounded like a mantra, was about to disappear as the time was running quickly, so quickly that the moment had come to put that call on end. And as he left, I started hissing, “LOVING YOU AIN’T EASY.”

When I can look at you but can’t feel you when I could see you smile yet not kiss you when I can hear you laugh, can’t listen to you in person, loving you ain’t easy. Despite all the circumstances, I feel happy to see you the way I could right now, and the feeling you bring along is not at all express-able in any words. That buddy taught me to love easily, and I realized it’s called love because you feel happy about their existence while, on the other hand, their departure in any mean tears your happiness with the lack of ability to go back to them. It’s called Love because you feel like rushing back to the same person every day without having anything to say.

When you spoil me with all that love, I wish you only you, and that is love. When I join my hands to pray and pray for your sound health, that is love. When I know, it’s gonna be you before me. It’s love. When I feel blank yet so secured, and the state of mind I endure can not be explained.

And I know now Loving you ain’t easy because your beauty and the feeling that you bring along is more than heavenly as someday I will feel the oasis in your arms for sure!

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Aditi poudel

“Pashmina shawl around my neck, I fancy Jewelries and arts”; I look out from carved wooden windows — Near the AnkhiJhyal: https://www.aditipoudel.com.np/