MY world of confusion:

Aditi poudel
3 min readFeb 10, 2021

Never was I a good decision maker: always lost in what to do, ending in what must not be done. To this age, maybe there have been 5 years of some decision-making interval throughout, which I guess I failed. I was not able to do anything because I didn’t know what I could do. I didn’t know the list of things was longer than what I knew but wait a minute still at that moment. I was not capable of knowing what I want and what I don’t. There was a fine line of confusion between what I wanted to do and what I don’t, which was obvious to me. My world of confusion brought along sadness, lower self-esteem, doubts, pessimistic thoughts, and so far, weak decisions.

There’s nothing I fear more than I fear what I can do,

When I have a lot of dreams to get completed

Something that was built in my mind for so long

With all the efforts I put into doing so,

to get out of the fence that was there too strong

But what if I get over those and start something new

Then only I could be able to realize what's false and what's true!

No matter who overcomes the dilemma, we shall suffer it throughout our life, and it’s a never-ending process. A man shall have confusion, but he shall not live in it throughout his life. For me, confusion is like a parasite that sticks and weakens you. The only difference is that it doesn’t suck blood but your capability of thinking and acting. The “MY WORLD OF CONFUSION,” which is for me, is a network of build-up mess time after time. It’s me who created a scenario, and the setup is in my head, which is plotted on my thoughts. The more the mess, the more the insecurity. As days pass by when I could not make decisions, I couldn’t decide which food I wanted that other day, which followed several other scenes ending in no decision intake. There I would stand, not being able to make any decision due to my never-ending doubts. And the doubts are, in fact, the result of my own behavior. Things get worse if you were an introvert just like me. You don’t socialize much and have nobody who would end up your confusions. You add new problems to the chart every day, making your life one kind of hell sometimes. The confusion makes you have no idea of what you are making you crash down in pain with a heavy heart. The heart rate would rise and make it pound heavy, not usual to other days, making you nostalgic about past mistakes you ever made. The present knows you are in becomes a realization of past guilt and future disabilities. Then you would question yourself and want to plunge into death……….!

But it’s okay because your confusion today can make you better as you should make an effort to make the optimistic changes. Maybe we cannot do something but always remember a little helping hand is always by your side, and remember again that’s your hand. With your left hand on your right hand, place them near your chest while you may take a long breath and close your eyes. When you listen to what your heart says, your dilemma will end as you will be doing what your heart wants. Listen to your heart and then think with your brain only then act afterward and watch the confusion fade away!

Let’s be a little stronger and kinder, and that’s what makes your world more beautiful.



Aditi poudel

“Pashmina shawl around my neck, I fancy Jewelries and arts”; I look out from carved wooden windows — Near the AnkhiJhyal: